Happy Holidays!

I haven't written a blog entry for almost 6 months now .. and it is my New Year's resolution to write my random thoughts everyday ...or at least once a week. Furthermore, I promise to try to take photos to accompany my blog entries. I also promise to live each day as if it was my last.. and to enjoy life and savor each moment everyday. I promise not only to be a good person but also to be a better one. I promise to love myself... the lesson that my sister always taught me to do. You are the only one who will love you the way you wanted it to. :D

Happy Holidays everyone and I wish you are spending it with your loved ones.

Muwahugzzz!

♥♥♥ zxiello ♥♥♥

in dealing with people who will try to hurt you

Isn't it funny? I've always loved watching the TV Show Gimik during my highschool years... I know the story of each and every character and how they deal with their problems, and seeing them on a reunion, minus Ricky, Ese and Joey gave me a different joy to reminisce and go back to those old memories.

I've been watching the Gimik 2010 The Reunion including the new characters, and I kept on watching this show even after the original characters are gone, and the story of the new batch are featured. I love the triangle love story of Jessy, Lance and Franco. See how I'm an avid viewer?

And to see Gimik 2010 deal with scandals? It kinda brought me back to memories... bad memories to be specific. I've been thru such. What happened to the character of Jessy is not as severe as what I have gone thru... fictions can indeed be non-fictions. I can definitely attest to that. I want to tell my story at a different time. The wounds aren't healed, and telling it will definitely bring back the pain... and I would eventually cry about it... all over again. I just wrote this one for the reason that what has been tackled and will be tackled on Gimik 2010 is definitely something I can relate to... and for those who haven't experienced it (and I definitely hope you don't), it is something that we can get life's lessons... a lesson that can make us definitely a lot stronger.

I hope everyone who would be able to read this blog entry will realize that sometimes, one should step up for himself... and to learn to love yourself more. Muwahugs everyone!

time of my life

A few days ago was my last working day from my previous employer and after that--I am still UNEMPLOYED. It maybe a sad thing, but I am really having the time of my life. I am able to read any book I want, surf on the net from morning till morning and do other ME stuff because the fact is I have finally regained my ME time.

Probably in a matter of days, I won't have enough budget... but I am taking the most of my free time to enjoy the things I haven't enjoyed from the past five years of working.

I love this moment of my life...AND I AM LIVING THE MOST OF IT!

MagDaLo

According to one of my ever reliable bestfriend, Mr. Wikipedia, Magdalo is defined as :

...a faction of the Katipunan which is mostly led by the ilustrados in Cavite.

....it was named after Mary Magdalene.

...is a group of rebel soldiers who staged the unsuccessful Oakwood mutiny.

But, we think otherwise..

Magdalo stands for MAGandang DAlagang LOka-loka... a group of three girls who have been joined by a bad circumstance, and have bonded by time because of friendship.

a promise

Today... I promise to document my life thru this blog...
...not only in ideas that runs thru my head ...which rarely comes ^_^
...but also thru photos that will also tell the story of my simple life.

our little palace called home

beware of falling debris!

my heart speaks...

There are times when I'm lying in my bed, hugged my pillow and cry from this stupid game. And my eyes are like windshields on a rainy day. Almost rubbed-out, swelling, as I keep on digging my face in these cold hands of mine.

Heavens knows how embittered I am.

hush now my heart

hush now my heart....
aren't you tired?
tired of falling...
falling inlove...
inlove with the wrong one...

hush now my heart...
aren't you tired?
you have been hurt before
haven't you learned?

hush now my heart...
hush now...

♥♥♥ random thoughts by zxiello ♥♥♥

Death : A Life's Uncertainty

Fact is...Life is Uncertain, thus we have to make excellent choices in whatever we say or do because we will never know on when will our life be put to a stop. 

Honestly, I am too damn tired to write a blog entry at this moment..but I can't let all these things on my head go to waste, and so here I am, writing this one.

For the past five years, I've been trying to muddle up with one life's reality--DEATH.  And this past few days, the harsh reality has slapped me once again...over and over again.

May 17, 2010, Monday, while having lunch with my office mates just outside our company's vicinity, I failed to check any messages eventhough I had brought my phone with me.  Later in the afternoon, I decided to check on my phone for any messages because I forgot to do so earlier.  I was shocked to receive a message from Tita Marlene Marquez because she often sends me a textmessage on a regular basis, she only texts me on special occasions.  And imagine the shock when I opened the message, she was asking for prayers for Tito Jun who died earlier that morning.  My knees were shaking and I didn't know how to react with what I had read--would I text her? What would I text her? Would I call her? What will I say?  I was able to contact her in the evening, and all the thoughts circling on my head was finally answered.  Tito Jun did not die on natural causes--he was killed infront of his house at around 4:30 -5:00 am. Shocking isn't?  I had only a few encounters with the man, but those were quite memorable.  His family has loved my sister, and has embraced my whole family when Eca left us.  He has treated my sister as the daughter they never had, and with that I salute him and gives my respect.  He is a man of honor, and he died while fighting for his principles.  It is indeed good people dies at an early age.  He was only 54, and has still a long way to go.  He haven't seen his grandchildren.  He had left his wife, Tita Marlene, and his two boys behind, Vinny (26) and Arvin (18).  But then, Tito Jun has left a legacy that those who knew him would always remember.

It was also on this same date that the news on Governor Raffy Nantes of Quezon headlined every news station on the country--he died when his chopper crashed 15 minutes after its take-off.  He is a friend of my father.

May 23, 2010, Sunday.  After a two days of not checking my facebook, I was stunned with the message of my friend Sheryl.  She had a miscarriage.  She was 9-weeks pregnant and her baby died on the 6th week.  I wanted to go to her, and give her a hug.  I think she was pregnant the last time we were together but we both didn't know about her conception, and it took her 2-weeks to confirm the good news to us.  She was excited for her 3rd baby.  However, she had a bad fever on the 6th week of her pregnancy, and that is when she lost her baby Zed, the name she might have given to her little angel.  I know my friend is so devastated at this moment and I really want to give her my hugs---eventhough that it won't be enough but at least she would know that we are always here for her.

Three deaths in a week...reality strucked me once again that life really is uncertain.

Portfolio Entry # 2 : Balconahe

i am now addicted with panoramic shots
from my point and shoot digicam

...this is a shot from the perspective of our front door

shoes ginoo!

a quarter of the total number
see the big box on the inner pile, it's all shoes and slippers!

...actually we are rearranging our things because of the renovation

i am a responsible citizen

after three long hours on the line

under the scourching heat...

finally...

I AM A RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN

May 10, 2010 National Elections

Precinct No. 124-A

Sequence No. 40

Cluster 66

mayo diyes

Tomorrow will mark another milestone not only in my life...it'll be my second time to vote for the National Elections...but this would be my first time to experience an automated election.


I had my doubts...with my little knowledge of a part of the history of Philippine politics..it is very sad to realize that the truth is CHEATING during elections is quite inevitable.  At a young age of 9, I was quite aware of what was happening during the 1992 Presidential Elections.  Being brought up in a family wherein they really took time to talk about politics and other social issues...I've learned to read the newspaper from cover to cover at a very young age.  Moreover, I belong to what-they-call EDSA babies.  I was almost 4-months old when Senator Ninoy Aquino was shot at Tarmac, and almost 3-years old during the EDSA revolution.  I am part of those little ones who have tasted democracy after the Martial Law.  Probably, those were some of the reasons why I was interested in the state of our country.


Back to being aware of 1992 Presidential Elections, I was one of the few kids who had always watched the news, and waiting for the updates of the canvassing of ballots.  I was always on the newspaper stand at the end of our block every morning, checking on the newspaper who are leading on the counts.  Moreover, I was aware of the blackouts and other anomalies happening during that time.


Fast forward to year 2010, 18 years after.  I'm hoping that it won't be the same.  I had friends, some were teachers who have had experienced violence regarding elections.  A classmate of my mom, a Comelec official, was shot in broad daylight due to the upcoming elections.  A family friend was shot dead at 6:30 in the morning due to rivalry in politics--he had left his wife and two kids at home to take care of the volunteers who are working for his wife's candidacy, but he was shot dead, and injuring a few civilians within the area..and it happened one day before the local elections.


My memories during elections are quite brutal as it may seem...but I am hoping that what I am aware of, and what I have experienced...I am hoping that the younger generations won't experience it. 


On May 10, 2010, I would be voting for the ONE that I think would really make a difference.  I would be voting for someone whom I think would not brag on his accomplishments six years after this election, but I'd be voting for someone who sees the things that he did, not as his accomplishments but as part of his responsibilities as an elected official of our country.


...I still do wish that after the May 10, 2010, all these candidates, win or lose, would all work together...because in the first place, they are all running for office because of one common goal right?


How I wish they REALLY DO have one common goal...and that is to improve the current situation that we have, and to change the current political system of our country---DIRTY and STINKY.

Portfolio Entry # 1 : Petsa De Peligro

..inspired by my wallet a few days before pay day.

it could have been a HAPPY birthday

it could have been a HAPPY birthday if i have spent the day with you

miss you so much my dear sister

happy 27 me!

my 27th birthday picture

thoughts on the upcoming election

A politician deserves to win if he knows the difference between "his accomplishments as a politician" and "his responsibility to the people," --because the things he will do during his term IS NOT HIS ACCOMPLISHMENT, IT IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY.

I maybe MALDITA... but I have a HEART ♥

I am not like them... I am different...

you could even call me unique.

Unique because I am one of the few people

who have morals and who have a heart

that hates to see people suffer...

I am not like them

because I find no pleasure in hurting other people

... I am one of the few.

I have been really struggling these past few days trying to resolve some issues that was caused by those mean people around me.  I never thought that people could really be so "mean"--and this is coming from a person like me who is a self-confessed "maldita."  What he/she/they have done to me, has really affected how I see myself, and at some point, it kinda ruined my self-worth.  But that is all over now, because there were a lot of people who have backed me up on one of the worst days of my life... and I know it isn't over yet.  Because I know in my heart that, that evil one won't stop until he succeeds... and I won't let that happen... ever.

And seeing myself now really makes me smile, for whatever happened that made me cry...there are still a lot of reasons to smile...because... my life is much happier compared to those people who were mean to me.

I maybe MALDITA... but I have a HEART ♥

i remember you

I Remember You by Skidrow

dedicated to my sister Ecathrene

One of our last few pictures together - December 2005

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through


I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me


Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you


We spend the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss


Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you


We've had our share of hard times
But that's the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear you'll never be lonely


Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
'Cause you'll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you


Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you


Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you

note to self

to my dearest zxiello,
when life kicks you in the ass,
roll up your sleeves and kick it back.
never let someone bring you down when you're up,
and never sink to a lower level
to be something or someone you're not.
you never have to impress someone that you don't like.

love you always,
♥♥♥ zxiello ♥♥♥

losing my religion

During this time of the year wherein people usually exhibits their faith and how they try to hold on to their religion in spite of all the hardships and struggles they are going thru, I on the other hand feels how much I have lost my faith. Before, I may not be the Sagrado Katoliko, but I have my own share of serving my religion. Being brought up in a what you can consider a religious family, I have been taught to pray the rosary at a very early age. Furthermore, I have studied on different Catholic schools in the country which were run by priests, nuns and brothers—that’s why I have an intense religious background. I have also served in the church as a commentator during ceremonies. However, what had happened in my life made my faith turned 180 degrees.

I lost my sister. No matter how hard I prayed—we lost her. I was praying the whole time trying to find answers to my endless questions….but still I got none. It would have made my life a bit easier if we had known the cause of her death…but what we have are just assumptions…no concrete medical explanations.

From then on, I’ve never stepped on the floors of the church I often went to…the church where me and my sister used to hear mass. Seeing the altar really made my knees shook…all I can see when I enter the church is how the priest blessed the human body of my sister for the very last time. I tried my best to fight this battle…but I still haven’t got the courage to overcome this. I know that what had happened should have made my faith grow stronger…but what happened was otherwise.

I know there will come a time that my road will lead me back to Him…I just don’t know when.

hear my heart out ♥

You will never really move on.
You will just get used to the pain.
You will just get used to not seeing them
and living a life without them.
You will just get used to all of this
until your system gets numb
and you won't feel anything.

cravin for puerto galera

It has been forever since I've gone to Puerto Galera...and I really miss the place sooo much....Even if a lot of students, and yuppies dreams on going to Bora..Me? I really prefer Galera, probably because I am not the type whose a party girl or loves the night life...what I want is a peaceful place where I can have my much needed R & R.

And who wouldn't love this place?

Aside from the fact that it is oh-so beautiful...it's kinda quiet because majority of the hotel guests are foreigners..which I really really love. Why? Quiet people is equals to relaxed Zciello! hehe...In addition to that, the hotel is located near the port so it is really accessible. And the prize? Would you believe that you will get all your money's worth at a very cheap rate? A beautiful place with its nature's finest, a hotel room with all the perks of the city--imagine beautifully furnished room, with aircon, and cable tv, i couldn't ask for more. I really miss you Galera...I will see you soon!

i am now a certified blogger!

it's official! i've finally made my own blog site and i am now a certified blogger...woohooo!
eniweiz, i'd be updating this blog as often as i can...but for now, i am currently experiencing of what they call a "blogger's mental block" hehe...so til next time..muwah!