During this time of the year wherein people usually exhibits their faith and how they try to hold on to their religion in spite of all the hardships and struggles they are going thru, I on the other hand feels how much I have lost my faith. Before, I may not be the Sagrado Katoliko, but I have my own share of serving my religion. Being brought up in a what you can consider a religious family, I have been taught to pray the rosary at a very early age. Furthermore, I have studied on different Catholic schools in the country which were run by priests, nuns and brothers—that’s why I have an intense religious background. I have also served in the church as a commentator during ceremonies. However, what had happened in my life made my faith turned 180 degrees.
I lost my sister. No matter how hard I prayed—we lost her. I was praying the whole time trying to find answers to my endless questions….but still I got none. It would have made my life a bit easier if we had known the cause of her death…but what we have are just assumptions…no concrete medical explanations.
From then on, I’ve never stepped on the floors of the church I often went to…the church where me and my sister used to hear mass. Seeing the altar really made my knees shook…all I can see when I enter the church is how the priest blessed the human body of my sister for the very last time. I tried my best to fight this battle…but I still haven’t got the courage to overcome this. I know that what had happened should have made my faith grow stronger…but what happened was otherwise.
I know there will come a time that my road will lead me back to Him…I just don’t know when.
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